RSVP or how to refuse a date to ensure another request. This is Dr. Paul, author of Boomer Girls, A Boomer Woman's Guide to Men and Dating and host of Ask Dr. Paul. Look, it happens and I've had callers say, "you know I really couldn't go out with them at this point in time, but I want to make sure he calls me back and ask me because I really would like to see him". So tell him that exactly. Say "look, I really want to see you". Now that is flattering. And the person, be it male or female is listening. "Unfortunately, I cannot make the date that you've suggested". Maybe the lady has need an escort, ask you to go to a dance or whatever, be her escort; you can't do it. "I really have commitment, I cannot do that, but I really would like to hear from you again. I'd be more than happy to see you". Be courteous. Practice good manners. Everybody likes that. And then you're going to ensure that the person will be back in touch with you. "I was looking forward to seeing you". Anything like that that makes the other feel comfortable. You do not want to make the other person feel rejected. "Oh he doesn't want to see me or she doesn't want to see me". No, that's not what you say and you make it crystal clear. Do not try to be subtle ladies. Don't give hints, be direct. Remember men don't take hints. They don't hear subtle. You must tell them directly. "Fred, I really, really would like to see you, I want you to know that upfront. Unfortunately, I cannot do that now. But I would like to hear back from you because I think we could find a basic understanding with each other". Something that makes them feel good. This is Dr. Paul. "May your fantasies of today, be your realities of tomorrow".